A accumulations of events and the latest incident built up a barrier between me and you.

I have been trying my best to talk to you nicely.

Dont mind letting you know the things on my mind.

or maybe things happening in my life.

But i detest the way you talk to me.

Now you created a phobia in me.

I am afraid to let you know things. Because you might just snap at me again.

I really don't know how to talk to you like before.

The worst thing is there IS a need for us to talk every now and then.

I guess only God can talk away this wall.

This wall of exasperation, fear of communicating with you.

EDITED

Immediately after the wave of emotion and the above entry.

I went to check my email.

Received today's devotion- FORGIVE!

MARK 11:25-26 NKJ25

"And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven mayalso forgive you your trespasses.

26 "But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father inheaven forgive your trespasses." You must forgive others.

No matter what they have done.

It is the command of God. But it was given for our benefit.

To not forgive hurts you.

Refusing to forgive is likes wallowing poison daily.

It will destroy you. Jesus said we should forgive when we stand praying.

So we don't have to wait until people apologize.

Nor does forgiveness require a long time.

Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a decision to quit holding something against someone.

When we forgive people we must release them and forget it.

You may think it is impossible to forgive someone who has deeply wronged you.

With God it is possible.

He never asks us to do something we cannot do.

LUKE 6:35-38 NKJ35

"But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping fornothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you willbe sons of the Highest. For He is kind to the unthankful andevil.

36 "Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also ismerciful.

37 "Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, andyou shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

38 "Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, presseddown, shaken together, and running over will be put into yourbosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will bemeasured back to you."

It is not optional. If we desire God's blessing and fellowship-- we must forgive others as He forgave us.

wow, God... you left me speechless.

I mean the word came instantly after I vented my fustrations.

After expressing how difficult it is to talk to that person again.

It is not an option whether or not to forgive.

It is a commandment.

I still need you to help me cross that river of emotions.